From DMs to “I Do”: How Love Now Starts Online

There was a time when Nigerian love stories started with shy greetings in church, small glances at the bus stop, chance meetings in school, or one auntie introducing you to a “responsible young person.” These days, many modern love stories begin with something as simple as a message notification that says “Hi, I saw your post.”

Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, WhatsApp and even Twitter have quietly turned into new meeting places for romance. Sometimes it begins with someone laughing at your meme, responding to your story, or sending that classic “I feel like I know you from somewhere.” Before you know it, both of you are talking every day, exchanging voice notes, battling poor network during late night video calls, and planning your first meet up at a quiet spot.

For many young Nigerians, falling in love online feels easier and more intentional. You get to show your personality before anyone judges your appearance. You can think before replying. You decide how much of yourself you want to reveal and when.

Digital love has also removed distance. Someone in Yaba can fall deeply for someone in Abuja, Port Harcourt, Kenya, or some would prefer the diasporan relationships for reasons we won't go into detail on in this piece. Long-distance relationships no longer feel strange. People book flights now in place of random chance encounters. I mean, if you've stayed long enough on the streets of Twitter, now X, you'd recall the Berger to Ajah story.

But online love comes with its own challenges. There is ghosting that can stun you without warning. There is catfishing, where the person who shows up looks nothing like the person you have been chatting with. Situationships have become common. Mixed signals hide behind beautiful pictures and sweet captions. Sometimes you think you are building something serious until you discover you were simply the “good morning” person.

Even with all these, plenty of real love stories are born online. Many Nigerian couples who are now engaged, married, or raising children began with a DM, a group chat, or a comment under a random post. What once felt unusual has now become normal.

Digital romance has shaped communication too. Love letters now arrive as long WhatsApp messages. Apologies come as voice notes. Couples bond through shared playlists, virtual movie nights, and saved screenshots of sweet moments.

But at the heart of everything, the meaning of love has not changed. It is still connection. It is still trust. It is still vulnerability. It is still a willingness to commit. Only the space where the story begins has evolved.

From the first DM to the wedding aisle, one truth remains. Love may be digital now, but the emotions are still completely real.